MIA

I hate to admit it, but this blog has been the last thing on my list for the last several months. Life got harder than ever when the Soldier came home, especially after being released from active duty while still being treated medically. It has meant no paycheck for him since terminal leave ended in December.

I have gone back to work, the first time for a 'paying job' since 1995. I am working as a contractor for the Air Force in the chapel. It is interesting working with lots of officers, but they are a great bunch and I enjoy what I do.

I am also going back to school in a couple of weeks. The thought of having to balance 15 credits with work and kids and trying to rebuild a marriage is super scary. If you are a praying person, keep our family on your list.

If you are new here, thanks to my sweet friend, Lori at Witty Little Secret, here are a few posts that share a bit about us and what I used to post on here - before all hell broke loose - aka Reintegration and Warrior Transition Unit.

All about us - from the MilSpouse Appreciation Day Bloghop 2012
Just Another Day Without the Soldier 
A Few Things I Hate About Deployment

Thanks for stopping by and feel free to send an email, I promise to answer, it just won't be right away :)

Why I Hate Goodbyes...

The Soldier left again today. This time it’s only for a week, but since he has only been home since November, it was kind of like picking off a scab.

Watching him pull out his uniform and pack his bags was a lot for the kids to deal with and when you are four, a week might as well be 18 months again. But the Army doesn’t think about these things, they can’t, they have a mission to accomplish.

I hate dropping him off at the airport and I can’t help but wonder which husband I will pick up in a week. Maybe I will get the one who is part of our family back, not the one who just observes from the outside.

War changes a person in ways you can’t even comprehend at the time and nothing can - or will - prepare you for it.

And whether I admit it or not, it has changed me. We have all been through hell.

Some days, I wish I could stop and rewind time.

Love,

Semi Wordless Wednesday 11-2-11

So last week, I was flying off to Seattle to see doctors and finally, after five months...

to see the Soldier again!

Thanks to the Army, this has been the never-ending deployment and we really don't know when he will be home.

And of course, 

a Halloween pic of the kiddos!

Linking up!

Love,

Just another day without the Soldier...

Last year when we said goodbye to the Soldier, I never anticipated that we would be going into a second year of holidays without him. Yet, last night I carved pumpkins with the kids while the Soldier watched on Skype. I am not much of a Halloween person (a little too much work and sugar for me), but Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up fast with no clue when they will send him home.

On Saturday, I said goodbye for the fourth time. Once when he left last year in September, once when I flew to New Orleans for his four day pass and once again in May when he was home on leave. The first three times were hard enough, but we always had a date to anticipate his homecoming.

How do you tell six children - when they keep asking when daddy will be home - that we have no idea?

The Soldier has been on U.S. soil, for two months, in Army limbo. While the doctors and case managers and everyone else and their brother argue where and when the Army is going to fix what they broke. He has been denied leave and had surgeries scheduled and then cancelled. All while he sits and we wonder.

This isn't my first rodeo and I know it takes time for papers to process and orders to come through, but this is bordering on craziness. And he isn't the only one. There are dozens of other Soldiers, returning home from war, being kept from their families by red tape.

He has told me stories of wheel chairs too small for Soldiers, chow halls not handicapped accessible and other Soldiers having to take care of those who have had surgeries and are sent back to the barracks to recover. And in their brand new, 53 million dollar barracks, the Soldier has changed rooms three times for issues like no cold water in the shower and his fire alarm going off for three days (while the work order got passed along to several different people). What a joke.

I am tired of saying goodbye.

I am tired of the Army.

I am just so tired and ready for this to be over.



Love,

Dear Deployment, I Hate You

I am sure that the whole world has conspired against me to drive me crazy. For all my friends who are reading this and are pretty sure I crossed that bridge a long time ago, be nice or I won't share my meds with you...

If a 400 day deployment for the Soldier wasn't enough, I mean, I am sure it is, right? Hello, 400 days! Who thought this up?

Well now the Army, in it's infinite wisdom, has delayed the homecoming. The Soldier is at a U.S. Military Installation, living in barracks (i.e. not at home) on a medical hold. And in the mean time, the kiddos get to watch the news and see that everyone else's daddy has come home.

Today, they had the nerve to ask him if he had the support system in place to send him home for recovery. I mean really, what do they think I have been doing for the past 400 days? Lets just say, hypothetically, if they don't send him home soon, his support system may to take off for an island and spend the next 400 days sipping drinks with little umbrellas.

And it isn't just the Soldier and the Army. There are six kids here hurrying the crazy train along.

The oldest decided to stay home to go to college. First of all, depriving me of my party moment outside her dorm room and secondly, I now have an 18 year old who thinks she is an adult and can do whatever she wants and come home whenever she wants and not pay for anything. For all of my sweet friends who have preschoolers, save enough now for out of state school. It is worth it.

Because one teenager isn't enough, we also have a 15 year old and 13 year old. It's fun. Yes, that is sarcasm. They have jobs and sports and classes and it could be a full time job just driving them around. When you add in the temper tantrums (yes, they start having these again as teenagers) and the crying fits (these too), it makes it so much more fun. Yes, that is more sarcasm.

The 10 and 11 year olds are working double time to see me admitted. They are convinced that I have have it out for them and that when daddy comes home, it will be all better. It might, but I won't be here to see it. Maybe I can get them to bring me pictures in my private room. In the little Soldier's defense, it has got to be hard to be the only boy while the big Soldier is gone, but I thought little boys were supposed to love their mothers. He would sign the commitment papers if he could.

My sweet preschooler turned 4 last month and has spent the last 400 days (give or take a few) sleeping in bed with me. It doesn't matter where she starts out, she has this internal clock that wakes her up at 3 am and tells her to climb in bed with mommy. So that mommy, who has just fallen asleep after 4 hours of looking at the ceiling (or facebook...), doesn't get any sleep. Mommy is so much more fun in the morning when she hasn't had more than 3 hours continuous sleep for 400 days...

If I could, I would take a nap, but instead I will be driving a child to work, two to dance lessons and one to a volleyball game - ALL at the same time. It's a good thing that I am not in the asylum yet, I am too busy being Houdini in my SUV and making it all work.

Is it Friday yet?

Linking up with Crafty Camo Lover for this week's MilSpouse Roundup!

Love,

Semi Wordless Wednesday 8-31-11 #WW

*While you are here, don't miss the chance to win two great novels - "The Colonel's Lady" and "Blue Skies Tomorrow"!

So Murphy has become my new best friend during this deployment...

First it was $800 worth of car repairs, then it was a new hot water heater (at 2 am), then a hard drive for my laptop, next it was a new fuel pump for the suburban and a windshield.

I really thought I was through, that I had reached my quota of crazy things that I couldn't even make up.

But I was wrong...

This week, it was an emergency vet visit at 11pm and a $300 bill - thanks to the porcupine that has taken up residence in our backyard.

If you have time, please come and visit. I am the one in the corner - wearing the straight jacket - muttering to myself about normal and wanting my mommy.

It may be time for another Starbucks Pity Party...

Love,

Update and Kindle Freebies/Bargains 7-24-11

I know I totally missed out on Military Friday this past week. At this point in deployment, the days all kind of run together and I basically forgot what day it was. (Two trips to the doctor with different kids didn't help.) I am so ready to be done with this and I guess you could say that we are in the home stretch, I just hope I make it to the end. I have decided that the children are in a conspiracy to see me locked in a padded room, sucking on Valium lollipops, before their father comes home.

Thankfully, I will be leaving next week to go to Nashville for MOPS Convention. I am looking forward to working with the moms, hearing all the amazing speakers and singers and - imagine this - actually having kid free time. But most of all, I can't wait to see my friends that I only get to see a couple of times a year. I am blessed to be a part of such an amazing group.

So forgive the blogging absence, but I am going to be busy spending as much time as possible with my girls - hoping that it is enough to last us until next year.

Now for some free books :)

*Don't miss the last book post, many of them are still free. 

The usual reminders and disclaimers:

• Prices change often and without notice. Books are usually only free for a limited time. Always check the price before clicking 'download'.
• You can read these books, even if you don't have a Kindle, by downloading the free app for your computer or phone. For a full list of apps, please click here. If you have been holding off on getting a Kindle, Amazon now has a reduced price one with special offers (i.e. ads on your screensaver) for only $114.
• Please consider following my blog on Google Friend Connect or by 'liking' my Facebook page. I will post books as soon as I find them on Facebook and they aren't always free long enough to make it to the blog.
• If you download a book, please 'Share the Love' by using the buttons below each post to let your friends know. And please leave a comment, I love to hear from you!
• If you enjoy the free book posts, please consider shopping through my links when you do purchase from Amazon. The small commission I receive for your purchase helps me justify all the time I spend on this blog to my Soldier! Thanks :)

 Delivery








Stealing Jake








Reinventing Leona








Cash Burn








40 Days without Food

The Adventurous Boy's Handbook: For Ages 9 to 99







Amazon currently has a huge sale going on, with lots of books $3.99 and less. I have been posting the Christian published books on my Facebook page. Please come over and 'like' the page to see all of the great finds (with many only $.99!).

Have a great week!

Love,

Military Friday 7-15-11

Here they are with their very cool HP
scarves that the 'cool mom' ordered
them for Christmas from Hooking Geek

I know I am a little late to the party today, but I have been trying to be the fun parent during deployment (usually the Soldier's job) and took the 10 & 11 year old monsters to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. There is going to be much wailing and gnashing of teeth when the 13 year old & 15 year old get home from camp and 4H Congress and find out we went without them.

They are still in shock this morning and can't wait to tell dad that mom is most likely ill or losing her mind - or maybe has been replaced by a way nicer clone. I am so tired that I am going to need a six pack of diet coke to make through the afternoon.

As much fun as I have been having, I can't wait for the Soldier to come home and take his job back over. Being the fun parent is exhausting! 

If you are a regular looking for the latest free ebooks, they are here and here. (Don't forget to double check the prices, they change frequently).

I love celebrating Fridays with my fellow MilSpouses. I am thankful to be part of a community that supports each other, even in the bloggy world. If you are a MilSpouse, we would love to have you join us. Link up with the MilSpouse Friday Fill-in at Wife of a Sailor and the MilSpouse Weekly Roundup today at The Science of Missing You.

Today's MilSpouse Friday Fill-in: 

1) If you could have a private concert with any singer, who would it be?  submitted by An Air Force Wife’s Blog 

My favorite singer is Anthony Kearns. Yes, most of my friends think I am crazy (the Soldier does too) and the kids complain that it is all we ever listen too (it isn't, but close), but he has an amazing voice and can sing just about anything - from Opera to Broadway to Irish folk songs. (Go ahead, click and listen. I will wait.) I would love to see a solo show of his again and since it is a private show, do I get to pick the songs too? The Soldier did get me tickets to see his latest opera for my birthday and I am very excited!

2) Is there anything you do to supplement your family’s income? submitted by Our Life, One Adventure at a Time 

I write. I have been paid a few times for articles like this one: How to Help a Mom During Deployment. I also do the occasional product testing and I clip a mean coupon. When I am actually grocery shopping (see #5), we save at least $100 a month with coupons. 

3) During your pregnancy (whether past, present, or future), what did you nickname your unborn baby before you knew the sex? submitted by Explosions of Love

Out of six, we only found out the sex of two of them during pregnancy. One was when they told us it was a boy (we didn’t believe them and still didn’t have a name until after he was born) and then with the last one (surprise!) and she was a week old before we had a name for her. We called her Bob for a while… No nicknames during pregnancy though. It was just the ‘baby’ or the alien taking over my body.

4) Have you ever won a blog giveaway?  If so what did you win? submitted by Mrs. O’s Life 

I have won a few. One was a DVD for the kids and one was a book on talking to your kids about sex. Yeah, we need that with all the teenagers we have. I also won an Amazon gift certificate from a really cool blog that I have been trying to find again. I lost all my favorites when my computer crashed.

5) If I looked into your refrigerator right now, what would I find? submitted by Married to the Army

Not a lot. It is time to go to the commissary again, only my Suburban died on the bridge last week and they want $800 to fix the fuel pump. (May was the water heater, June was my laptop and July is the car. I pray I get a break in August!) I wonder how much it would cost me to send the 18yo to do the shopping? Today, there are a couple of eggs, half a bottle of apple juice, a few red bell peppers, ketchup and some ribs defrosting. Dinner is going to be interesting to say the least. Maybe since it is payday, I will spring for a $5 pizza at Little Caesars - fun mom and all...

And don't forget to link up with The Science of Missing You for today's MilSpouse Weekly Roundup! 

Have a great weekend.

Love,

MilSpouse Friday 6-11-11

Wow, it feels like forever since I have done MilSpouse Friday. May was a long month and kept me way too busy. The Soldier is gone and back in the sandbox, but he was able to be home for the oldest's graduation. (You can see the news about her graduation here and here.) 

I pray that the rest of this deployment will be very uneventful (i.e. no more broken appliances) and go quickly. I am so ready for him to be home!  

Next week will be a hit or miss blogging week, as I am traveling to see a specialist for my health problems. I really appreciate your prayers and if you have a minute, say an extra one for my mom who will be watching the kiddos. 

For all of you who come over for the free and bargain Kindle books, the latest post is here, with more on my Facebook page. 

And now... The MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!

Again, a big thanks to Wifey at Wife of a Sailor for hosting every week. I really enjoy getting to know everyone a little better. 

Photo from National Trust for Scotland

1. When you vacation what type of vacation do you like to take (beach, historic, adventurous, food oriented, etc.)? submitted by Megan Dub-Yuh
   
   Food is always good… Seriously, I love history and always want to visit historic sites when we are on vacations. I would love to visit the battlefields in Scotland and the GPO in Dublin, Ireland.
   
   
2. What is your best memory associated with a song (you know we all have tons!) submitted by Ramblings of a Marine Wife
   
   When I was about 8 years old, we took a road trip from Montana to Georgia and one of the big songs that summer was Honeycomb by Gary Morris. My sister and I would start singing it every time it came on the radio and keep singing it even after my dad changed the station. We drove him nuts for days.
   
   
3. If you had six months with no obligations or financial constraints, what would you do with your time? submitted by Married to the Army
   
   Work on my book. It might actually get done if I had nothing else to do.
   
   
4. What is one thing about you that people do NOT typically notice at first that you wish they would? submitted by Our Motto is Patience
   
   My amazing super model legs. Um, yeah... just kidding!!
   
   
5. …. submitted by The Three Turners: It’s a summer of sequels, and if you had to live in one of each of the following “worlds” (there are three total) which would you choose and why? 

–X-Men: Be a Mutant, what would your power be?

–Harry Potter: Be a Witch or Muggle?

–Twilight: Be a Vampire or Werewolf?

I suppose I would have to pick Harry Potter, since that is where the kiddos would be :) 

Linking up with "A Blog a Day While You're Away" for today's MilSpouse Weekly Roundup.

Have a great weekend!

Love,

 

Update and some Kindle freebies 6/2/11

I just have a minute while the Soldier is taking a cat nap, but wanted to put a quick update up. His leave will be over soon and I appreciate any prayers you send our way. I am dreading the rest of this deployment and I don't know how the kiddos are going to handle him leaving again. 

I have said it before, but these year (plus) deployments are just too much. Too much for kids that need their daddy, too much for marriages that are strained to the breaking point. Too much for anyone to bear. 

I am thankful that he was here for the oldest's graduation. It was such a huge milestone for her and we are very proud. (You can see the news about her graduation here and here.)

I promise to be back the land of bloggers soon, as long as I don't lose my mind...

I did get five minutes on Amazon today, so here are the newest freebies (and a bunch of bargains) for Kindle. Don't forget to watch the facebook page for any additions.

The usual reminders and disclaimers:

• Prices change often and without notice. Books are usually only free for a limited time. Always check the price before clicking 'download'.
• You can read these books, even if you don't have a Kindle, by downloading the free app for your computer or phone. For a full list of apps, please click here. If you have been holding off on getting a Kindle, Amazon now has a reduced price one with special offers (i.e. ads on your screensaver) for only $114.
• Please consider following my blog on Google Friend Connect or by 'liking' my Facebook page. I will post books as soon as I find them on Facebook and it usually takes a few days to make to my blog.
• If you download a book, please 'Share the Love' by using the buttons below each post to let your friends know. And please leave a comment, I love to hear from you!
• If you enjoy the free book posts, please consider shopping through my links when you do purchase from Amazon. The small commission I receive for your purchase helps me justify all the time I spend on this blog to my Soldier! Thanks :)

*Sorry, no pictures today. I want to spend every minute with the Soldier and they take too long :)

Free:

This Fine Life: A Novel by Eva Marie Everson

The Swan House (The Swan House Series #1) by Elizabeth Musser

Solitary: A Novel by Travis Thrasher

The Voyage of Promise by Kay Marshall Strom

Connecting in Communities: Understanding the Dynamics of Small Groups by Eddie E. Mosley

Journey to the Well: A Novel by Diana Wallis Taylor

2:46: Aftershocks: Stories from the Japan Earthquake

Bargains:

Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman ($2.99)

Pagan Christianity?: Exploring the Roots of Our Church Practices by Frank Viola & George Barna ($.99)

Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy ($.99)

Son of Hamas by Mosab Hassan Yousef ($2.99)

Have A New Kid By Friday by Kevin Leman ($2.99)

June Bug by Chris Fabry ($1.99)

Still House Pond by Jan Watson ($.99)

The Apothecary's Daughter by Julie Klassan ($2.99)

Left Behind ($2.99)

Plain Promise by Beth Wiseman ($1.99)

Church Planter by Darrin Patrick ($2.99)

Unplanned by Abby Johnson ($2.99)

What Is the Gospel? by Greg Gilbert ($.99)

Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God by John Piper ($2.99)

90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death & Life by Don Piper ($2.99)

The One Year Bible, New Living Translation ($2.99)

Scarlet Thread, The by Francine Rivers ($2.99)

She Walks in Beauty by Siri Mitchell ($1.99)

A Wedding Quilt for Ella by Jerry S. Eicher ($2.99)

Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller ($1.99)

Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn't Show Up the Way You Thought He Would? by Pete Wilson ($2.99)

The Mentor Leader by Tony Dungy ($2.99)

Enjoy :)

Love,