Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Few Things I Hate About Deployment

Linking up with Military Monday Blog Hop! Come over and join in!

Deployment sucks. It just does. 

I know people talk about the ‘perks’, but they are just trying to make it easier to cope. No amount of ‘tax free’ money or discount on car insurance can make it suck less.

I hate every part of this 400 day deployment…

I hate the fact that my kids don’t get to see their father. That he will miss birthdays and recitals and milestones that will never again be reached and that the oldest will be gone at college before her father comes home.

I hate when the 3 year old cries after each phone call when she remembers something she forgot to tell her daddy. 

I hate the year's worth of pictures that are missing his smile. 

I hate that we pay way too much every month for Iraqi internet that never works when I need it to. 

I hate having to pump my own gas and wash my own car. Yes, I am spoiled. 

I hate the constant, “when will he be home?” and “how do you do this?” questions that everyone asks.  

I hate that I am envious of my friends whose husbands are home and safe and happy. 

I hate living in an Air Force town and seeing the support and community for the wives and wondering why the Army National Guard can’t do a better job. And I hate that I am jealous of them coming home after only 6 – 8 months.

I hate going to bed alone and waking up in the middle of the night and reaching for someone that isn’t there.

I hate getting in the shower with the worry that I will miss his call. 

I hate wondering, “is this it?” Will this be the last phone call, the last letter, the last box I mail? 

I hate the fear that runs through my body whenever there is an unexpected knock, not knowing who is behind the door. 

I hate worrying when I leave the kids at home to go to the commissary, that they might be the ones to answer that knock. 

I hate the loneliness that is my constant companion, the void that can’t be filled by anyone else.  

I hate what a 400 day separation is doing to our marriage and to me. 

I hate that the only way I can face some days is to become numb and detached to everything that is going on around me... 

Today especially, I hate that we are only half way through and I am sure this list will continue to grow. 


Friday, March 25, 2011

Military Friday 3/25/11

I am sorry that I have been MIA for a while. Life has just been a mess with kids and my health and the house falling apart around us...

Unfortunately, that is deployment and I hate it, but we are surviving and have hit the half way point. I sure hope the next 6 1/2 months (or so) go by fast and without as much craziness as the first!

For those who entered the giveaway for Mel Starr's "A Trail of Ink", the winner is montanabookworm! Congrats on your win :)

If you are here for the latest free books, I hope to have a post up soon. However, quite a few of them are up on my Facebook page. I post them there as I find them, so it is much faster than waiting for me to get a chance to blog about them.

As for Kindle Bargains, selected games are only $0.99 for a limited time (3/27). I am enjoying the Solitare, but keep losing at Chess. Click here for a list of the discounted games.

It is time for the MilSpouse Friday Fill In and I have missed it :)  Come over to Wife of a Sailor to join in on the fun!

1) What is your must have gadget? submitted by Flying High With My Flyboy

My Kindle, of course! I love it. It has my books, games and even plays my music. I carry it everywhere!

2) How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? submitted by L to the Third

I can’t really remember… I know I wanted to be a vet and take care of animals. That ended when I realized how much school it entailed. As a middle-schooler, I was sure I would never have children. I loved playing with my nephew, but didn’t want any of my own. I was going to be the cool aunt that took him all over the world, but had no real responsibility in the end. Not sure how I ended up here, except that I met Soldier boy!

3) What is your favorite chocolate recipe?  submitted by Our First Deployment

I don’t have one! We do a lot of cooking and bread baking, but not a lot of desserts. I can’t wait to read everyone's posts for ideas!

4) How do you deal with military life when it gets to be to much or to hard? submitted by Combat Boots And Pointe Shoes

I go MIA from my blog for two weeks ;0) 

5) What piece of advice would you give a new Military spouse facing their first deployment?  submitted by The Albrecht Squad

Write letters. Is it bad that I don’t follow my own advice? I wrote long letters, almost like a journal on the last deployment and I think it helped me and I like to think it was helpful for the Soldier too. 

Also, don’t listen to all the negative stuff. I don’t do FRG meetings for that reason. I don’t need that drama, I have enough of my own thank you.

Link up at Turn for the Nurse for MilSpouse Weekly Roundup! 
Have a great weekend!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Free ebooks 3/12

Do you remember when Saturday meant sleeping in and being lazy all day?

I don't. I have been a mom for almost 18 years and that means Saturdays are sports days and picking up from sleepovers way too early and I need this at the mall or please run me to Wal-Mart so I can get stuff for the project that was due last week...

So yet again, I am up before I would like to be, watching cartoons with the 3 year-old.

I did send the almost 18 year-old out to pick up her brother and sister on opposite ends of town. It is a little pay back for all those years of Saturdays that I ran all over for her...

Before I go grab the leftover Chinese take-out from the fridge, I thought I would put up the latest free ebooks for Kindle. That way, if you have a lazy Saturday planned, you will have a good book to curl up with.

If you haven't entered my contest for a copy of A Trail of Ink by Mel Starr, please click here.

There are still free books available on the last post, so check that out here.

If you clicked through from MilSpouse Friday Fill-In, you can find that post here

  • Prices change without notice and books are usually only free for a limited time. Always check the price before buying.
  • You can read these books even if you don't have a Kindle by downloading the app for your device here.
  • Please consider following my blog on Google Friend Connect or by 'liking' my Facebook page. I post the occasional Kindle tip or free book on Facebook as well. If you are a Facebook friend, you will notice that most of these books have been up there for a few days :)
  • If you download a book, please 'share the love' using the buttons below the post to let your friends know and please leave a comment. I love to hear from you!
  • If you enjoy the free books, please consider shopping through my links when you do purchase from Amazon. The little bit of commission I get helps me justify the time I spend on the computer to the Soldier :) Thanks! 

Sweet BaklavaSweet Baklava  

Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment

Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment   

The End Is Now 
The End Is Now   

Moms' Ultimate Guide to the Tween Girl World 
Moms' Ultimate Guide to the Tween Girl World   

Here are a few that are still free (or free again), in case you missed them: 

Hide in Plain SightHide in Plain Sight    

Daughter of Joy (Brides of Culdee Creek, Book 1) 

Daughter of Joy (Brides of Culdee Creek, Book 1)   

Craving God: A 21-Day Devotional Challenge 
Craving God: A 21-Day Devotional Challenge 

The Holy Bible English Standard Version (ESV)   
The Holy Bible English Standard Version (ESV)     

Fools Rush In (Weddings by Bella, Book 1) 
Fools Rush In (Weddings by Bella, Book 1)   

Stuck in the Middle (Sister-to-Sister, Book 1)Stuck in the Middle (Sister-to-Sister, Book 1)   

Invisible (Ivy Malone Mystery Series #1) 
Invisible (Ivy Malone Mystery Series #1)  

And a couple of bargains: 
Devotions for Lent 
Devotions for Lent $1.59  

Slingo $0.99 (only good through 3/13) 

Happy reading!